Today I was seeing some of my cousins for the first time since, I think, Easter. A lot has happened to me since then. I'm not sure how much they know. I do know that one of my cousins had posted on Facebook something about finding out there is a history of mental illness in her family around the time I landed in the hospital.... My guess is that at least she knows a little about my psychosis. It's not that I really care.... maybe I do a little more than I would like... it just occurred to me as I was walking over to my aunt and uncle's that I may have to put up with some stigma and I wasn't looking forward to that. But things were fine. Phew.
Stigma. The Canadian government recently published a report about the problem of stigma when it comes to mental illness. It's called the Kirby Report. Here's a link for more information:
http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/178/10/1320
Stigma is a particularly nasty problem with mental illness because it has prevented people from getting well. One item of interest in the Kirby Report is that the Canadian government has never done a report on mental illness or mental health services in Canada before, but has done countless studies on a number of physical diseases.
I'm fortunate that I haven't really encountered a lot of stigma. The only place would be at work and I'm just not getting into that now. Several co-workers throughout my life have expressed opinions along the line that depression isn't really a disease, but an excuse.
But one place I have experienced some shame in my illness -- a place I think should be the last place I should experience any feelings of exclusion -- is the church.
Now, I am a very strong Christian and I go to church regularly. I'm feeling quite at home in the church I'm going to right now. I'm hoping my upcoming move will not take me away to a different city, one reason being I want to remain in my church. There have been churches in the past, though, where I have felt lesser for having a mental illness. I dared not say anything about it. And that really shouldn't be the case! We're not supposed to be wearing masks in the church! We are supposed to "owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law"(Romans 13:8).
There are a few ideas that have gotten in the church that seem to perpetuate negativity toward mental illness and in a lot of cases, physical illness too. For example, there is a misguided idea that if you're ill, your faith just can't be big or strong enough.
There are Christians who believe God doesn't want us to be ill, therefore any illness we have must be our fault, some kind of failure, again, in our faith and trust in God. Bologna!
Actually, it's not all bologna. I do agree that God doesn't want us to be sick. It wasn't His intention in the perfect world He made for us in Eden. There was no death, no illness. But since human nature has been to rebel against God and disobey Him, we have had to suffer the consequences, one of them being illness. We brought suffering on ourselves.
I know that the reasoning in their argument is that God needs His people to be healthy and able to perform to the best of their abilities so they can go and "make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I [Jesus] have commanded you"(Matthew 28:19,20). Let's not forget the last part of verse 20, though: "And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Jesus is the one enabling us. We don't go by our own strength. Isn't it a beautiful thing that I can be used by God because of my illness????
"For we do not proclaim ourselves; we proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord and
ourselves as your slaves for Jesus' sake. For it is the God who siad, 'Let light
shine out of darkness,' who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the
knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
'But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that
this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us."(2
Corinthians 4:5-7)
I've said this kind of thing before. My imperfections make it so people can see the work of God in me. As the Scripture in 2 Corinthians describes, I'm a clay pot with the light of God glowing inside me and it is shineing out through my cracks and holes, for others to see.
So, God didn't want me to be sick, but my illness helps people see how He cares for me, how He strengthens me every day, how my faith is real.
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