Ugh.....writing a novel is way too hard. In NaNoWriMo, you're supposed to write 50 000 words by the end of the month. It's impossible. For me it is anyway. I know some people can whip it off no problem. So far I have around 3 000 words which means I'm way behind in trying to accomplish the goal. Oh well...
I've been accepted to college for Community and Justice Services and I will be leaving the city where I currently live. That was unexpected, but it's okay. I have new beginnings ahead. Exciting times.
I should be excited shouldn't I? And I definitely was in the past week, but I'm at a low today. This is usual for my depression, but I didn't prepare for it. I went to my new city of residence and looked at some potential places to live over the weekend. I have some specific things I'm praying for in a place to live: a garden and laundry. I found that in one place. Plus the house is close to the college, on a bus route, in a beautiful area and my potential landlords are super nice, one of them being a life coach which would be really good for me, no? I also got to see a good friend of mine on the weekend that I haven't seen in a long time because she has been out of the country. I had an eventful weekend.
When I have a lot going on and especially when I'm emotionally charged about it, as in I'm excited about going to college in a couple months, moving to a great place (hopefully) and seeing a friend I hadn't seen in a long time, I tend to fall afterward. I'll be happy and then crash into the dumps.
That's where I am now.
But it's not as though I'm right at rock bottom. I'm not wanting to run out in front of a bus or anything. I just feel apathetic. I'm tired and cranky. I think it's clear in the way I'm writing right now that I don't have much inspiration or personality at the moment. My words all sound blah.... Sorry to you dear reader.
In my heart I'm truly excited about going to college and living in this one particular place. And I know I have faith somewhere in there that God will help me with all the crazy expenses coming up. He has already helped me with my tuition.
This is my unhealthy mind speaking today. I can see that it is illness. The faith I have and the hope for my future is being clouded over by it today, but it will pass. Today I'm focusing on small problems that distract me from the amazingness that is going on in my life right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment