I'm working again. I just got hired at Chapters for over the Christmas season of retail frenzy. I'm excited because I love books and I could get at a job at the Chapters in my new city when I leave for college.
Not much has changed as of late. Things have been fairly smooth which has been nice.
Sam asked me on a date. He loves me. It's very sweet. But also anxiety inducing. The last thing I want to do is cause him any emotional pain in his last days.....especially emotional pain that could precipitate his end sooner.
He has never been on a date before and I honestly think of him more as a family member, as a brother. I don't want to deny him some happiness when there is likely more pain and sickness to come for him. Because this is his first date, and could very possibly be his only date, I feel the pressure that much more. Sometimes I wonder if agreeing to go was a mistake.
My best friend, who is also Sam's niece, has given me some good advice. She suggested having a script and having about three of them that say the same thing but in different ways so that Sam will be sure to understand. I need to be absolutely honest and gentle too.
I'm scared. I feel like crying thinking about it...and puking. So much homework needed to do on this one.
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